Questions

Are there stupid questions?

This always comes up and when it does someone nearby always jumps in before anyone else gets a chance to give thoughtful input on the subject and says, “The only stupid questions are the ones not asked!” End of discussion. Nobody gets a chance to rebut this type of well researched, definitive, empirical evidence. Bull freaking crap. We all know that is horse pucky. That is so far away from reality that only a complete and utter bonehead would believe it. We’ve all been asked dumb questions. And even if we want to look at the glass as having some liquid in it (though it’s far from being even half-full on this issue) and concede the point that is trying to be made - that a well thought out question is always welcome in a learning environment - or - if you are in charge of the button that blows up the world if pushed - then maybe it’s okay to ask a variety of questions about your duty, well thought out or not. But some questions just need to not be asked. Seriously. Even in a learning environment. And sometime we need to stop saying there are no dumb questions because when we say it we are teaching people to not think, to not take a moment and try and figure something out using reasoning or to peruse the owners manual for a moment (I’m not even asking that a person read it, just peruse it – look at the pictures if you hate reading that much – or listen to the manual-on-tape if you fear a disease from reading too much).

Here’s a situation to approach this from a different angle. You are asked to do something and you’re not sure you understand what it is you’re being asked to do. It can come from a boss, a parent, a neighbor, anywhere. You fear if you ask for too much clarification and direction you will come across as lacking ability. It’s a good fear and one we all have or should have have. What I’m saying is it’s normal to feel this way.

Let’s face it, we all want to do things confidently and be viewed by others as impressive. This is such a good thing it is a wonder that anything negative could possibly result from it. But it can. Sometimes it makes us not be thorough enough in understanding the task at hand. Our desire to appear on top of things and self-confident can make us jump to conclusions which can be more disruptive than doing nothing - regardless of our good intentions.
Let’s say we need to update information in a computer database. If we don’t have a clear idea of what we are doing, and we don’t find out, we risk not only failing to accomplish the task but we can mess up existing records which is even worse than not doing anything at all.

Trying to look good is a critical mistake and very different than actually looking good. We fool ourselves if we think nobody will ever find out when we’re faking it. Though it is possible to pull faking off, the risk is large if we don’t. Know when to hold and knowing when to fold is what Kenny Rogers tried to teach us in a song and a movie. Usually we engage in fakery when our internal compass is broken and our fear of exposure overcomes our desire to be right.

But in trying to become impressive and competent, don’t “wear the sign.”

Back to the, “The only bad question is the one not asked.” If it is true and we keep hearing people say it why don’t we all know it and why does it have to be said if it is so obvious? I think it’s because we don’t believe it. It sounds good but it is not true. It’s a bad cliché. In fact it’s usually said by someone who does everything they can to discourage any questions.

I recall a blatant example in a statistics class at the U. Unfortunately it was taught by a math rather than a business professor (No slam intended. I have the utmost respect and admiration for math teachers. But math professors??) and on the first day of class he told us the thing about the only bad question is the one not asked. That’s the last time any of us in the class saw his face. He turned around to the blackboard and from then until the last day of class he never faced the students. He just talked while he wrote on the blackboard - endless equations, vector valued functions, and hyperbolic derivatives. He was like the freaking rain man. But if we had a question, and some did and to no avail tried to get his attention, but he never knew it. Surely he knew his style before he said the question thing and surely he knew there would be no questions. Yet he took the time to tell us it anyway.

Also we know it’s not true because we’ve all been asked stupid questions before. Come on admit it.

Bill Engvall has a new sitcom on one of the cable channels with Nancy Travis and has made a career out of pointing some of these bad questions out. Awhile ago he went on tour with Jeff Foxworthy and the cable guy and did what they called The Blue Collar Tour. It’s hilarious and some of his deal goes like this:

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

This stuff is funny because we’ve all been there. That’s why we get self conscious about asking questions; we don’t want someone to ask us where our sign is. So how do we avoid the sign? Two things primarily:

(1) Patience. Sometimes we get so caught up asking questions and wanting to know everything all at once, we put ourselves on overload. Surely I’m not the only one who has been sitting there getting something ‘splained to me and I’m back at the first thought trying to figure that out while the ‘splainer is ten thoughts down the road. I’m still going “hmmm” and shaking my head positively and throwing in an “interesting” or “so that’s how it works” when my mind is thinking “I have no clue what they are telling me. I hear words and their lips are moving so why am I thinking these thoughts not having a clue about what anything this person is saying.” Then I make it worse because I sit and pepper the person with questions they have just explained and that I’m not even capable of retaining the answers about.

Break it down. The ‘splainer doesn’t know where we are at in our understanding. Think through the answer to each question and then try it on your own before you move on. If you still don’t understand then ask a follow up question. Then think about it. Take it out for a spin. Attempt to do the task. Then move on. Have the patience to listen, ask good questions, and learn.

(2) Patience. When someone asks us a question, answer it thoroughly and to the best of your ability. If you don’t know the answer then steer them to someone who does. If they ask again because they don’t understand, always take the assumption that there was something wrong with your explanation and then either elaborate or try explaining it from a different angle. Maybe we didn’t ‘splain it as best we could the first time. If you sense they are asking more questions than they can absorb, encourage them to try what you’ve just ‘splained first and then see if it clicks before bombarding them with additional information. All this takes place if we, the ‘splainer, have the patience to ‘splain and truly desire to pass on our knowledge and wisdom. Also, never tell someone something they can learn or think through on their own. Steer them to the answer or guide them to the experience that will let them learn it on their own.
If we were all a little bit more patient, there would be no need for the signs!

Key to the whole point – as I see it:

Improving our patience in attempting to understand assignments and to explain assignments will allow us to raise the bar. If we master this we’ll not only look marvelous, we’ll be marvelous. At the end of the day it’s always better to make sure we ask good, well thought out questions than do something wrong. What reputation would you rather have: to be known as a questioner or to be known as a mistaker. You should never be afraid to ask well thought out questions. But to ask a shallow and lack of thoughtfulness question as a way to avoid doing any work on our own is not what we’re talking about. The term posse incitatus can be translated from Latin to mean several things. I like, “When in doubt, reload.” Seems to fit here. You’ll have to think about it to see if you agree. But don’t ask me how it fits please.