Mindsets

In preparing to teach Sunday School next week (yea, I have to stay in the game periodically so I don't forget how) I ran across an interesting thing I used to use. I would always use it to introduce Isaiah or in the case of next week, The Book of Revelation. Let me explain.

Beloit College (some place in Wisconsin) puts out a list each year for the entering freshman and professors to show how different their world perpectives are. The point is for everyone to be sensitive in the learning environment to assumptions made because they are very different based on life experiences.

I use it to demonstrate that if the worlds are that different for someone born in 1985 and us old timers, how different is our world from John who wrote Revelation a couple thousand years ago.

Here is the mindset list.

Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy and Abbie Hoffman have always been dead.

1. What Berlin wall?
2. Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.
3. Rush Limbaugh and the “Dittoheads” have always been lambasting liberals.
4. They never “rolled down” a car window.
5. Michael Moore has always been angry and funny.
6. They may confuse the Keating Five with a rock group.
7. They have grown up with bottled water.
8. General Motors has always been working on an electric car.
9. Nelson Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa.
10. Pete Rose has never played baseball.
11. Rap music has always been mainstream.
12. Religious leaders have always been telling politicians what to do, or else!
13. “Off the hook” has never had anything to do with a telephone.
14. Music has always been “unplugged.”
15. Russia has always had a multi-party political system.
16. Women have always been police chiefs in major cities.
17. They were born the year Harvard Law Review Editor Barack Obama announced he might run for office some day.
18. The NBA season has always gone on and on and on and on.
19. Classmates could include Michelle Wie, Jordin Sparks, and Bart Simpson.
20. Half of them may have been members of the Baby-sitters Club.
21. Eastern Airlines has never “earned their wings” in their lifetime.
22. No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of “liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
23. Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears and has always employed more workers than GM.
24. Being “lame” has to do with being dumb or inarticulate, not disabled.
25. Wolf Blitzer has always been serving up the news on CNN.
26. Katie Couric has always had screen cred.
27. Al Gore has always been running for president or thinking about it.
28. They never found a prize in a Coca-Cola “MagiCan.”
29. They were too young to understand Judas Priest’s subliminal messages.
30. When all else fails, the Prozac defense has always been a possibility.
31. Multigrain chips have always provided healthful junk food.
32. They grew up in Wayne’s World.
33. U2 has always been more than a spy plane.
34. They were introduced to Jack Nicholson as “The Joker.”
35. Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.
36. American rock groups have always appeared in Moscow.
37. Commercial product placements have been the norm in films and on TV.
38. On Parents’ Day on campus, their folks could be mixing it up with Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz with daughter Zöe, or Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford with son Cody.
39. Fox has always been a major network.
40. They drove their parents crazy with the Beavis and Butt-head laugh.
41. The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere.
42. Women’s studies majors have always been offered on campus.
43. Being a latchkey kid has never been a big deal.
44. Thanks to MySpace and Facebook, autobiography can happen in real time.
45. They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.
46. Most phone calls have never been private.
47. High definition television has always been available.
48. Microbreweries have always been ubiquitous.
49. Virtual reality has always been available when the real thing failed.
50. Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.
51. China has always been more interested in making money than in reeducation.
52. Time has always worked with Warner.
53. Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.
54. The purchase of ivory has always been banned.
55. MTV has never featured music videos.
56. The space program has never really caught their attention except in disasters.
57. Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.
58. They get much more information from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from the newspaper.
59. They’re always texting 1 n other.
60. They will encounter roughly equal numbers of female and male professors in the classroom.
61. They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.
62. They have no idea who Rusty Jones was or why he said “goodbye to rusty cars.”
63. Avatars have nothing to do with Hindu deities.
64. Chavez has nothing to do with iceberg lettuce and everything to do with oil.
65. Illinois has been trying to ban smoking since the year they were born.
66. The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.
67. Chronic fatigue syndrome has always been debilitating and controversial.
68. Burma has always been Myanmar.
69 Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.
70. Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.

Imagine what John would think, showing up in this world of the class of 2011. Imagine us showing up in his world. And we wonder why it's a little challenging to figure out this book.

Thanksgiving Day

I’m sitting here thinking about my history of Thanksgiving as I remember it.

Growing up, this was always a wild time of the year. It was during this season that we’d always finalize our chicken and turkey production. By that I mean we’d kill (can you say clothsline), clean, pluck, cut, and freeze those chickens that lived, of the hundred or so we started with. This was a lot of work for several Saturdays in the Fall. By Thanksgiving we, like the Pilgrims, were done and ready to party. We also raised out own turkeys and had a half dozen or so of them to take care of.

The one we’d eat on Thanksgiving was one we’d raised. Usually a monster. Maybe that’s why I don’t care for turkey too much. I’m a dark meat only eater though to show I’m not squeamish, I do love the skin especially on a deep fried turkey. Nummy.

Thanksgiving Day was always fun around our house but I’m not sure why. I don’t recall doing anything that wasn’t done on other days or other holidays. At some point you’d find the boys outside playing our version of two on one football or our avoid-the-hedge baseball game; you could see the gaps in the hedge that showed how bad we played the game.

All the while we all had some chores to do helping with the meal though strangely I don’t think they were much. My memory is if you managed to stay out of sight, the less you had to do. Ronald was the absolute master of this on Thanksgiving - and any day really. But though he was the master, we certainly were eager learners and did out best. The worst chore was to take the slop bucket out to the pig pen. Chores like that just aren’t in existence anymore. It was a way of life for us. The pigs wouldn’t be sent to the butchers yet nor was Bibba so those were chores we still had. We had some sort of pecking order of whose turn it was but spent far more energy and time determining who it was than if we’d have just done it.

Sometimes, it seems to me, that Grandpa and Grandma Johnson would be down from Idaho Falls and would join us. That added a level of intrigue to the event. We loved them and they had a calming influence on the proceedings somehow. I guess it was the way they were totally unflappable in our midst when all control had seem to be lost. Never once do I recall either of them getting angry with us or telling us what to do even though you’d think with the chaos there would be plenty of opportunities.

One thing we all tried to do was to avoid getting caught in the Grandpa Triangle. This was where he pinned you on one side and you were in a corner pinned on the other two sides by wall. In this position you could expect to stay for a half hour or so while he literally prophesied about things and lectures in a kind way on principles of health and life. The torture wasn’t being pinned but having your brothers and sisters poke faces at you behind him trying to distract you and make you laugh. Grandpa was undaunted though. I wish I could be pinned by him now and actually listen. I also wish I’d have written down the things he said because I can’t remember much but think there was some actual prophesying that was done that I’d probably appreciate now and would find comfort in my old age. Great times.

Farmor would join us regularly and one of the good times was getting to go with dad to pick her up. This was a journey in the olden days. And, of course, you'd get out of helping with the meal chores while appearing to be volunteering to do work. The olden days, you didn’t have I-15 so you drove down Redwood to 33rd South and up to 300 East. One of dad’s OCDs was to go on back roads and new, more efficient routes, that avoided crazy drivers. Half the time as a youngster I never had a clue where we were at. But we’d get Farmor and bring her back to the house.

She didn’t mind correcting our behavior or weighing in on the chaos but it was usually so subtle (“Oosh Namen”), passive aggressive (“wouldn’t you rather go outside to be noisy?”), or in Swedish, so we would just blow her off and keep doing what we were doing. Good times. Mom and Dad were too busy getting the food ready to deal with us but we always tried to avoid crossing the line that would get my dad to give us the evil eye. That meant the death penalty later on when the blessed event was over.

Dinner was wild. If we didn’t raise almost all of the food ourselves I imagine it was a solid $500 dollar meal. This was food for a dozen people. We totally ate a 25-30 pound turkey; picked pretty much clean as well as a good 30 pounds of mashed potatoes. There would be “stuffing” (come on, who came up with dressing?) and we’d long run out though as a kid I couldn’t eat it for some reason. Thankfully I’ve overcome that agenda. There was gallons of gravy, jello blended with whipped cream, dads original “cancer” punch or our homemade root bear that tasted not surprisingly like yeast. Yuck, though I think I always pretended to like it because dad was so thrilled. Somewhere there were vegetables, and I’m sure out of the garden but I don’t remember them.

I always sat at the bread board. It was a great place because you were out of the lines of fire. You could hang out there and get Farmor’s sympathy because she felt it was some sort of cruel ostracism. I guess that’s where I first learned the strategy that has made life entertaining for myself. What you want to do is to stir the pot or disrupt someone else’s life without altering the course of human events. When you are at the bread board and out of line of sight, you can manipulate things or bring things up and stay out of the way when it hits the fan. Just like in sports, the person that always gets caught is the one retaliating. So true at meal time.

Of course no meal of ours would be complete without us getting Germ to do Nixon and a variety of other pantomimes. He probably wouldn’t’ actually do them until we all gathered after the meal but we’d start planning the entertainment and the seeds during dinner. Even more hilarious than Germ was Steven mimicking Germ. Then there were the skits of "So Long, Farewell" and other things - I think I recall a version of "I represent the lollypop tree" or some such stuff.

The highlight for me and what I miss the most, though, is mom’s apple pie. I know apple pie. Apple pie is a friend of mine. Nobody made an apple pie like mom. I have no clue what she did. I don’t think there was any secret recipe or anything. She just made killer apple pies. They were good each and every time she made them and the taste never deviated from one pie or type of apple to another. They were the same exact delicious apple pie every time. Others have told me since they have found the best apple pie, and I’d try it and be disappointed. I’m so disappointed in all other apple pies; I actually don’t choose it much as a dessert anymore. I know they were a lot of work for her to make and though they were difficult, the last few years mom always made an extra one for me that I’d slip out to the car before the festivities began. Even when they started getting the “temple pies” from the temple cook guy, mom would still make me one of her apple pies and she didn’t care that she saw I didn’t need them. I think she would even tell me to exercise as she pimped me a secret one on the side and I'd alway tell her I'm going to start on Tuesday. she unlike others always believed me.

Mom’s apple pies. My all time favorite Thanksgiving memory.

Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain

It’s Veteran’s Day and I’m thinking of the troops. I read the other day that since the revolutionary war there have been 44 million who have worn the uniform in service to our country.

There are a thousand war stories and hundreds of heroes but my all time favorite is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. He fought in the Civil War. He was a college professor in Maine. He felt compelled to join the union army and fight in the Civil War for the highest of all reasons. He entered the 20th Maine Infantry as a Colonel.

Though he was amazing in all he did, one situation rises above all else, since it alone is attributed to the union breaking the backs of the South and winning the war. This experience occurred when Colonel Chamberlain was stationed at the left flank of the union army at Gettysburg. They occupied “good ground" on top of a place called Little Round Top. Along with his regular division, he was told to take 200 deserters and shoot them if they didn't want to fight this battle. They were fed up with war and didn't want to fight anymore and he told them he wasn't going to shoot them as instructed but instead inspired them all to stay and fight. They all new this would be a big fight and very well may turn the tide for whichever side won the battle. The left flank was an honor to be in charge of because you knew if the enemy broke you, your side will lose. Back then honor was a big deal and getting the honor of guarding a flank was a privilege. Chamberlain was told to hold the left flank at whatever cost (meaning fight to the last man) since there would be no reinforcements and no additional ammunition coming their way.

The Rebels made 5 charges up the hill to try and take Little Round Top and thus break the left flank of the Union army but the 20th Maine repelled them back each time though at great cost. By the 5th charge, many of Chamberlain's division had been killed or wounded including himself and many of the deserters he inspired to stay and fight. For himself he was shot in the foot.

As the last Confederate charge took shape at the bottom of the hill, Chamberlain's men had very little ammunition left. Colonel Chamberlain knew they had to hold the flank and could not give it up so he did the only thing he could do; he ordered "bayonets on" and for his men to charge the enemy, making as much noise as possible and to engage the enemy in hand-to-hand combat. That's what they did and the enemy panicked at the bold move and five hundred surrendered immediately to the men with no ammunition. the rest turned around and beat feet back to the rear with the cowards and shirkers.

The Union evenutally won battle in no small part because the enemy didn't break the left flank and overrun the center of the line. Colonel Chamberlain later was awarded the Distinguished Medal of Honor for bravery on the field. He went on to fight in a total of 20 more battles. He was wounded 6 times (including his foot in this battle) and received awards of merit 4 times. At one point when he was shot from one hip to the other, he was declared dead and General Grant gave him a field promotion to General (the only one given in the Civil War) but he fooled them, got better and participated in many more battles.

He received the honor of being the General to accept the Confederate Army official surrender at Appomattox where he held himself a gentlemen to the end. He lived to 85 years old and finally died from the hip wound when it got infected all those years later. It made him the last person to die from civil war injuries.

I can go on and on (some would argue I have) but there are many more stories about him. He was an absolute stud.

Twenty-five years after Gettysburg he gave a speech there and said these phenomenal words:

"In great deeds something abides. On great fields something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls. And reverent men and women from afar, and generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls. This is the great reward of service. To live, far out and on, in the life of others; this is the mystery of the Christ,-to give life's best for such high sake that it shall be found again unto life eternal."

Read them a couple of times and read them often. No truer words were ever spoken about Gettysburg. You can feel it when you go there.

Conference

I’ve finished dissecting conference. Here is what I found, in part:

Talks
There were 38 talks given.
3 by the Prophet.
4 by the other members of the First Presidency.
12 by Apostles.
19 by others.

Scriptures
There were 441 scriptures quoted; that compares to 344 at the last conference.

Broken down by books of scripture:
Book of Mormon 148
New Testament 117
Doctrine & Covenants 102
Old Testament 52
Pearl of Great Price 22
Total 441

Frequency Distribution:
1 scripture was quoted 5 times.
3 scriptures were quoted 4 times.
9 scriptures were quoted 3 times.
42 scriptures were quoted 2 times.
268 scriptures were quoted 1 time

Isn’t that an amazing fact, played out conference after conference, that out of the 441 scriptures quoted, 268 of them were only quoted by one speaker? Out of 38 talks there is that little repetition in the use of the scriptures!

Average number of scriptures quoted by speaker: 12

Speakers quoting the most scriptures: Nelson - 68; Hales - 38; Condie - 38; Uchtdorf - 33; Bednar - 25; Packer - 23; Holland - 23; Wirthlin – 20

The scripture quoted 5 times:
John 17:3
3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

The 3 scriptures quoted 4 times:
D&C 14:7
7 And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.

D&C 50:14
14 To preach my gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth.

D&C 121:45
45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

Subjects
There were 35 main subjects addressed:

3 speakers addressed:
Gospel Principles (DFU; WG; TSM)
Missionary Work (MRB; EK; LTP)

2 speakers addressed:
Holy Ghost (KH; HBE)
Priesthood (HBE; TSM)
Procrastination (DH; CC)
Service (MT; SS)
Testimony (EF; DC)

1 speaker addressed:
Activation (MC)
Anger (GBH)
Atonement (DAB)
Blessings (SC)
Book of Mormon (CG)
Broken Heart (BP)
Charity (JBW)
Choices (DHO)
Church Membership (BKP)
Church Welfare (RE)
Conference (DBH)
Faith (QLC)
Family (MC)
Godhead (JRH)
Jesus Christ (JRH)
Joseph Smith (BBH)
Love (TSM)
Mothers (JB)
Pornography (WC)
Purity (DAB)
Restoration (GBH)
Revelation (RDH)
Sacrament (CG)
Salvation (CV)
Scriptures (RMN)
Teaching (DJ)
Temples (OT)
Truth (RDS)

Talks of Especial Note

Julie Beck; Mothers Who Know
Henry B. Eyring; God Helps the Faithful Priesthood Holder
David A. Bednar; Clean Hands & a Pure Heart
Dallin H. Oaks; Good, Better Best
Jefferey R. Holland; The Only True God & Jesus Christ
Keith Hilbig; Quench Not the Spirit That Quickens
Erick Kopischke; Preach My Gospel - Unifying Tool

Lists
My favorite part of conference is compiling lists that were given. There are many in every conference and they help me to focus on the messages. I extract them without all the explanations and accompanying data because:

a) I can look it up in the talk if I want.
b) I can use them to prepare talks.
c) I use them to ponder.
d) I use them as an outline for further study and research.
e) I use them to stimulate my memory to add information to my journal and personal history.
f) Its a lot of fun.

Here are 10 of the 48 lists I extracted from this conference:


From bearing one another’s burdens as ward members, we have learned several lessons:

• Lord’s organization fully adequate to know & care for those with most dire emotional and spiritual needs.
• Adversity can bring us closer to God …
• Members who suffer tragedy firsthand often experience an increased capacity for love, compassion, and understanding.
• A ward [or family] draws closer together as it endures together—what happens to one happens to all.
• [Most important] We can each be more compassionate and caring because we have each had our own personal trials and experiences to draw from.
  We can endure together.
  (Richard Edgely)

3 things To Give One Assurance & Guidance When Facing An Overwhelming Calling:
(The message may come in words to your mind or in a felling or both.”)

1. First, the assurance will come from a memory of times Heavenly Father has helped you through dangers and difficulties.
2. The second part of the message you will receive as you pray for help in facing a hard assignment.
3. The third and final message you can watch for when you pray for help in a hard priesthood assignment is this one—I got this one as well—go to work.
   (Henry B. Eyring)
   

We determine the level of our current personal contribution by examining our present choices and priorities against questions such as these:

• Do I spend more time with sports than Church attendance or callings?
• If I have a free day, do I choose to attend the temple or to visit the mall?
• Do I resort to computer games or surfing the Internet rather than offering meaningful service to others in my home and community?
• Do I read the newspaper religiously but find it difficult to read the scriptures daily?
  (Keith Hilbig)
  

Enduring to the end implies:

• “patient continuance in well doing”

striving to keep the commandments

doing the works of righteousness

sacrifice and hard work

trust our Father in Heaven

making wise choices

paying our tithes and offerings

honoring our temple covenants

serving the Lord and one another willingly and faithfully in our Church callings and responsibilities.

strength of character

selflessness

humility

integrity

honesty to the Lord and our fellowmen

making our homes strong places of defense and a refuge against worldly evils

loving and honoring our spouses and children

(Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

Paul counseled with these four simple words:

• Quench
• not
• the
• Spirit
  (Keith Hilbig)
  
  

When we invite the Holy Ghost:

• He will fill our minds with light and knowledge
• He will “quicken" us, that is to say, enlightens and enlivens the inner man or woman
• We notice a measurable difference in our soul
• We feel strengthened
• We are filled with peace and joy
• We possess spiritual energy
• We Possess enthusiasm
• We enhance our natural abilities
• We can accomplish more than we otherwise could do on our own
• We yearn to become a holier person
  (Keith Hilbig)
  
  

I have felt to provide each member of the Relief Society throughout the world three goals to meet:

• Study diligently.
• Pray earnestly.
• Serve willingly.
  (Thomas S. Monson)
  
  

Four of the most beautiful words in holy writ:

• “And
• God
• remembered
• Rachel”
  (Genesis 30:22).
  (Spencer Condie)
  
  

Examples of small acts of service that can lift and bless another:

• a question concerning a person’s family
• quick words of encouragement
• a sincere compliment
• a small note of thanks
• a brief telephone call
  (Thomas S. Monson)
  
  

Women excel in living and sharing their testimonies of the Lord Jesus Christ and His restored gospel as we:

• Make and keep covenants with Him.
• Are worthy and worship in His temples
• Study His doctrine in the scriptures and the words of prophets
• Qualify for, recognize, and follow the Holy Ghost
• Share and defend His gospel
• Participate in sincere personal and family prayer
• Have family home evening
• Live principles of self-reliance and provident living
  (Julie Beck)
  

Quotes
Lastly, here are my favorite Top Ten quotes from conference (this was very hard to narrow down but by the technique of paired comparison sampling I did it. Actually I could only narrow it to the Top Twenty-Five.):

Adversity
The same happens in our lives. We don’t know when or how earthquakes will hit us. They likely won’t be literal shakings of the earth, as happened in Peru, but rather quakes of temptations, sin, or trials, such as unemployment or serious sickness. Today is the time to prepare for when that type of quake comes. Today is the time to prepare—not during the crisis. What are we doing today to engraven in our souls the gospel principles that will uphold us in times of adversity?
(Walter Gonzalez)

Book of Mormon
The Bible had stood for centuries. It is a precious and wonderful book. Now there was a second witness declaring the divinity of Christ. The Book of Mormon is the only book ever published, of which I know, that carries in it a promise that one who reads it prayerfully and asks concerning it in prayer will have revealed to him by the power of the Holy Ghost a knowledge that it is true (see Moroni 10:4).
(Gordon B. Hinckley)

Children
Children are generally very accepting of their parents and the mistakes parents make. They often forgive, forget, and move on much more quickly than adults do. Don’t feel guilty. Apologize when you have made a mistake. Seek the child’s forgiveness. Change your ways and move on.
(Barbara Thompson)

Children
Remember that it takes a lot of patience to raise a child. As precious as they are, children can be exasperating, frustrating, and sometimes even naughty. It takes a tremendous amount of patience and restraint in order to avoid doing or saying things we will later regret. Sometimes parents need to put themselves in “time-out” in order to avoid making serious mistakes. Removing yourself from the room for a minute in order to regain control is often very helpful.
(Barbara Thompson)

Church Welfare
At the final day the Savior will not ask about the nature of our callings. He will not inquire about our material possessions or fame. He will ask if we ministered to the sick, gave food and drink to the hungry, visited those in prison, or gave succor to the weak. When we reach out to assist the least of Heavenly Father’s children, we do it unto Him. That is the essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
(Joseph B. Wirthlin)

Conference
All of the proceedings of this conference will appear in a subsequent issue of the Ensign and Liahona. We encourage you again to read the talks in your family home evenings and discuss them together as families. They are the products of much prayer and meditation and are well worthy of careful consideration.
(Gordon B. Hinckley)

Decision Making
Increasingly more people are finding that making wise decisions is becoming more and more difficult because of the ultra-interconnected world in which we live. Constantly forced into our consciousness is an incessant barrage of counsel, advice, and promotions. It is done by a bewildering array of media, Internet, and other means. On a given subject we can receive multiple strongly delivered, carefully crafted messages with solutions. But often two of the solutions can be diametrically opposed. No wonder some are confused and are not sure how to make the right decisions.
(Richard G. Scott)

Decision Making
To further complicate matters, others try to persuade us that our decisions must be socially acceptable and politically correct. Some pondering of that approach will reveal how wrong it is. Since social and political structures differ widely over the world and can dramatically change with time, the folly of using that method to make choices is apparent.
(Richard G. Scott)

Divine Assistance
The possibility of an earthquake was always there. When or how it would hit no one knew. When it came, it was devastating. But under the direction of the priesthood, the moment’s challenge was faced. In many cases, when members were unable, the Lord made up the difference. Some members tell of seeing men in white helping to save their lives. Others heard guiding voices. Years of Church service were a preparatory school to becoming organized and helping one another.
(Walter Gonzalez)

Family
In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best… Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.
(Dallin H. Oaks)

Family
The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated.
(Dallin H. Oaks)

Family
Families mean work, but they are our great work—and we are not afraid of work. This is what we do best; no one does families better than the sisters of this Relief Society. We uphold, nourish, and protect them.
(Julie Beck)

Family
Satan is working overtime to attack the family. He tells us that marriage is not important, that children do not need a father and a mother, and that strong families are not important. He tells us that moral values are old-fashioned and silly. When challenges come, Satan tells us to abandon our beliefs and go with the ways of the world. He entices us with fame and fortune and tells us where to find the easy life. He attacks our faith in God and tries to discourage even the strongest and most loving families. Satan is delighted when we give in—even just a little.
(Barbara Thompson)

First Vision
At no other time of which we have any record have God our Eternal Father and His Beloved Son, the risen Lord, appeared on earth together.
At the time of the baptism of Jesus by John in the river Jordan, the voice of God was heard, but He was not seen. At the Mount of Transfiguration, again the voice of God was heard, but there is no record of His appearance. Stephen saw the Lord on the right hand of the Father, but They did not address or instruct him.
Following His Resurrection, Jesus appeared to the Nephites in the Western Hemisphere. The voice of the Almighty was heard three times, introducing the risen Christ, but there was no appearance of the Father.
How truly remarkable was that vision in the year 1820 when Joseph prayed in the woods and there appeared before him both the Father and the Son. One of these spoke to him, calling him by name and, pointing to the other, said, “This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!” (Joseph Smith—History 1:17).
Nothing like it had ever happened before. One is led to wonder why it was so important that both the Father and the Son appear. I think it was because They were ushering in the dispensation of the fulness of times, the last and final dispensation of the gospel, when there would be gathered together in one the elements of all previous dispensations. This was to be the final chapter in the long chronicle of God’s dealing with men and women upon the earth.
(Gordon B. Hinckley)

Free Agency
Let us decide together what we are going to do. All of us, whatever our callings may be, face tasks that are beyond our own powers. I do and you do. That’s true from the simple fact that success is to get testimony down into the hearts of people. We can’t make that happen. Even God won’t force that on anyone.
So success requires people we serve to choose to accept the testimony of the Spirit into their hearts. The Spirit is ready. But many people aren’t ready to invite the Spirit. Our task, which is in our power, is to invite the Spirit into our lives so that people we serve will want to have the fruits of the Spirit in their lives—the fruits that they can see in ours.
(Henry B. Eyring)

Holy Ghost
We dare not hinder, disregard, or quench the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Yet when it comes to drawing upon the promptings and the blessings which flow from the Holy Ghost, we often "live far beneath our privileges."
(Keith Hilbig)

Journals
Tonight, and tomorrow night, you might pray and ponder, asking the questions: Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see His hand in my life or the lives of my children? I will do that. And then I will find a way to preserve that memory for the day that I, and those that I love, will need to remember how much God loves us and how much we need Him.
(Henry B. Eyring)

Love
Love is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the pathway of discipleship. It comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles. It leads us through valleys of darkness and through the veil of death. In the end love leads us to the glory and grandeur of eternal life.
(Joseph B. Wirthlin)

Missionary Work
I have found that most people will not read or focus on more than just a few important facts at one time.
(M. Russell Ballard)

Prayer
But be prepared to lose track of time as you pray.
(Henry B. Eyring)

Priorities
Recognize the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.
(Dallin H. Oaks)

Revelation
We prepare to receive personal revelation as the prophets do, by studying the scriptures, fasting, praying, and building faith. Faith is the key.
(Robert D. Hales)

Scriptures
Let us search the scriptures with pen in hand, making note of new insights and recording spiritual promptings.
(Keith Hilbig)

Teaching
Just as I learned as a young man that grain was more appealing to our horses than a dirt-filled bucket, I also learned that grain was more nourishing than hay, that hay was more nourishing than straw, and that it was possible to feed a horse without nourishing him.
(Daniel Judd)

Testimony
If you want to know that you know that you know, a price must be paid. And you alone must pay that price. There are proxies for ordinances, but none for the acquisition of a testimony.
(Douglas Callister)

Why Can't I Be Cool?

I’ve been told to lighten up on the blog so here goes.

Why can’t I be cool? Maybe the bigger question is why can’t I have the ability to totally block out reality when I look in the mirror and see myself?

Deep, I know. Let me explain by sharing this experience I recently witnessed.

I was at lunch at a sushi restaurant. While awaiting food a guy comes in with his wife. Somehow I knew they were married but I’m not sure how. But that’s not the point. Maybe they were dating. Whatever. I hope for her they were. The point is the guy somehow got up that morning, looked in the mirror and saw cool. The sad thing is the girl (probably his wife) thought he was cool too. And I can’t figure out how because he really was not.

She actually seemed normal and was dressed normal except that she bought-in to his attempt at cool and that just made me sad. Let me see if I can describe him because I am "positive sure" (as opposed to "negative sure") you’ll get my point.

Think Kevin James but not cool. The guy was a bit large but I’m sure he saw muscle. He wore knee-length shorts, brand spanking new white Adidas and Adidas white socks. I knew this because the socks said “Adidas” right on them, and were perfectly centered on the outside of each sock, both right and left.

So far the package was okay but clearly trending downward on the cool meter. He had on a black tee shirt. Still okay. But on the dome he wore a beret. Backwards.

Why? Who said that was cool? I can see a baseball cap because it keeps the sun off your neck. Theoretically. But a beret on backwards can only be so to make a statement that you are cool or have some fashion sense or something.

Also, who told him he could do it? Surely it’s not a personal decision one can make. Certainly someone has to authorize it, right? But that’s not the thing still.

He was wearing sunglasses even though he was now inside and outside it was overcast and the sun wasn’t out. I know, many that have gone before have made that statement but that’s still not the thing. He eventually noticed he couldn’t see and took them off and here is the deal: he hooked them on his tee shirt ON HIS BACK and not on the front like regular people do.

I know this wasn’t authorized and only a really, really cool person would be allowed to do something this aby-normal. He didn’t have anything else hanging on front so there was room. It had to be a fashion statement that was meant to tell people – cool person in the room, keep your distance, pay homage, keep the immediate area around him clear, give him room to operate and maneuver, and above all, pay attention, more cool stuff to follow. And there was.

He had this mannerism about him that said, "man of the world." He knew what he wanted to order and didn’t need to condescend to look at the menu. But his office was open to answer his wife’s questions about the various foodstuffs. She quiz him on different things and in a very detached manner he’d answer but you could tell his mind was on more important things like, “I wonder if I’d be cool if I turned my Adidas socks so that the Adidas wording was facing inward.” But he could muse these things and multitask by answering her. Worldly things were second nature to him.

She asked him stunners like, “What is tempura?” Oh, and she started every question the same way, “This is a dumb question but …” His answer, given far too loud but apparently he sensed his wisdom shouldn’t be limited to just her but the rest of the folk, “Tempara (yes he said it that way) is deep-fried but not as heavy.” Profound!

Eventually they ordered: him a chicken teriyaki bowl of rice and her a lunch salad with ranch. Did I tell you this was a sushi bar? Next came the coup d'état of all coolness. Let’s call it the too-cool-to-follow-the-normal-sequence-of-events move. He ordered without looking at the menu and answered all of his “sweethearts” cultural food questions but after ordering, as he prattling on about something, he picked up the menu and again multi-tasked by talking and perusing and then, I kid you not, in mid-sentence he all the sudden said, “GIVE ME A DOLLAR” as if the fate of the world hung in the balance and was contingent on this buck.

Clearly he was too cool to keep money and where would he put it anyway, you can't hang it on the back of your shirt. But everyone could sense the immediacy of his need for this buck. She didn’t question but yanked a dollar bill out of her purse and handed it to him. I suspect she had learned over time to not stop the creative flow of coolness when ordered to do so.

He grabbed it and bolted up to the cash register and told the girl staffing it, “Instead of chicken teriyaki I want the ‘cubbie beef.’” He then tossed the dollar bill on the counter and walked back to his seat. As he sat back down after this act of creation he told his girl that he loved the "cubbie beef" but it was an additional dollar. His explanation was accepted without comment and it was clear that his wife accepted these moments of profound and absolute coolness without surprise or even query.

I was nothing short of “bumfuzzled” if I may quote Chandler or Ross or one of the Friends. First off, the person working the cash register hadn’t taken their order so I’m not sure how that order change was orchestrated in this English as a third language environment. But I guess cool people don’t worry about those things.

Next, in this place you paid for the food after you ate. So what was up with the dollar? Too cool to follow the paying sequence I guess.

Lastly, "cubbie beef?" How can you be so far off on pronouncing Kobe Beef and still think your cool. If he’d ever heard it prounounced it surely would have resonated with him that it’s pronounced the same as his favorite basketball player, Kobe Bryant.

And that’s what I’m saying, why can’t I be cool like this guy?

I could never go out dressed like that and do those kinds of things in a public venue. I just couldn’t. I would be far too nervous someone would observe my faking and write it up on a blog.

Kenny Rogers - The Last Ten Years (Superman) Video

Watch this. One of the best songs in a long time. We've all lived through all these things. Puts them in perspective.

Dignity: The Hard Way

Somehow, somewhere in life, and surely not intentionally (wink, wink), you will tick someone off who you really should not have; someone you need or are going to have to interact with in the course of your life. But that’s not the deal. The deal is that you didn’t mean to tick this person off but they zing you back real bad, and in public. How rude! You want to say something clever (or worse) back. Freeze that moment in time. What should you do (as opposed to what did you do?)

Unfortunately this happens far too often. The operative situation here is that you are a good person and doing the best you can in everything you do but somehow you angered someone unintentionally and they reacted by manifesting their anger with words or maybe even a little rage. You are on the receiving end of a verbal tongue lashing and it wasn’t in a private setting. Your instincts will be to react back with equal force but if you have that little compass you got when you raised your bar it will steer you to the better way to respond.

In college sometimes you’ll do almost anything to make a few bucks especially if you are married, have children, and bills. Once upon a time in that situation, living in a place we lovingly called, “The Ghetto”, a neighbor asked me while on a home teaching visit, if I’d be interested in some part time work. Turns out he was a Constable and wanted me to serve legal papers for him. So I became a Process Server. (I refer to it now as a “Brain Dead Process Server”, not that there’s anything wrong with it.)

The deal was, for every legal paper I served I got a fixed amount of money based on the nature of the legal offense. I gave it a try and found out I could make real good money in just a few hours a night. For some reason I had a knack. I think I looked young, naïve, and innocent (it wasn’t too long previously that I honed this great skill while tracting in the mission field) so people answered their door even when they were taking deliberate steps to avoid being served.

Legal papers that were real old and hadn’t been served were worth substantially more than new ones. I made it a point to take some of these old ones that had gone unserved for a long time and usually could place them quickly. I made good money and met good people and soon the Constable asked if I’d like to branch out to some things that made even more money. This was repossession and transporting bail jumpers back to the State. It wasn’t bounty hunting but it was badge carrying, gun toting, wannabe stuff. It was a world I didn’t know even existed and was amazed punks like me could be doing it with so little training with a guy who was only a couple of degrees shy of kind of scary.

The Constable was what you could call an irascible character. He had been doing this Constable thing for a long time, knew a lot about it, but thought he knew more than he did. Even I could see that, brain dead as I was. He was frequently on a cop-wannabe ego trip, short on temper, and usually picked public venues to air his anger at who ever dared cross him. So why put up with it? I don’t know, brain death, bills to pay, “easy” money. After a couple of years of it, it was getting old and he was getting old but like I said, the money was good and okay, I was afraid to tell him “I quit.”

One thing I found out the hard way was that he liked to pull over people who cut him off in traffic. He actually had a “cherry” (a portable red flasher thing he could stick on his dashboard like cops have) in his car and with the badges and stuff, he could get away with it though he had no police authority and only did it to yell at people because they ticked him off. If I only knew then what I know now. Yea, I probably should have ‘ratted’ him out but what did I know. I’m like twenty-two and he’s sixty and been doing this for thirty years. Plus we dealt with cops all the time so I figured he must have known what he was doing. But it seemed weird all the same and I didn’t like to be with him when it happened.

One time, right in front of the Century movie theatre on State Street and 3300 South, we were going somewhere and he had me driving. (Oh I forgot to tell you, he liked me to chauffer him when he took me on a job.) So I was driving and he was shotgun and someone pulled out ahead of us, cut us off, and sped through the intersection (north on State at 33rd) on a stale yellow light. He told me to run it as he lit the cherry and put it in the car window. I told him it was red as I hit the brakes and he screamed for me to run it. So I ran it. We lived.

Then he told me to catch up to the person so they’d pull over. I did but they weren’t pulling over. So he told me to honk the horn at them. Those that know me can testify, I hate honking car horns. It’s one of my deals. I started to argue with him and he reached over and laid on the horn himself. They kept going and he told me to pull up along side of them in the outer lane so he could flash his badge and waive them over. I said no, we were driving too fast and I wasn’t going to do it. This was all going on, mind you, while I’m driving and trying to maintain control of the car. He went ballistic so I pulled up along side of them and he tried to waive the person over. I noticed at this point the car was full of passengers; maybe six people or so. The driver still wouldn’t pull over so he told me to pull over in their lane, cut them off, and then block them in. All I knew of this maneuver was from what I’d seen on the TV shows so clearly I told him I didn’t know how. He grabbed the wheel and started yanking it toward the other vehicle so I had to speed up or hit them. When I got ahead of them, he yanked hard and we cut over and I hit the brakes. Both vehicles stopped and we had the other car blocked in just like he wanted. Problem was he couldn’t get out of his door because it was angled against the other vehicle so there wasn’t clearance. Plus he was a lard butt.

Adrenaline was running a little high now, as you can imagine, and he was yelling at me to move the car so he could open his door. There were other lanes of traffic, my adrenaline was making me hyperventilate, and the guy’s anger toward me was really ticking me off. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to back up or pull ahead. Both prospects had their downside so in the midst of his yelling I was trying to figure it out and probably went both ways before settling on backing up. Finally he got out and approached the other vehicle to yell at the driver. Keep in mind this all took place in about the same amount of time I am recounting it; only a half-a-minute or so.
So he’s out talking to the driver and I could hear him yelling at the guy and then he yells at me (I stayed in the vehicle, it wasn’t my beef) and asks me if I’m going to just sit in the car or if I had come to do some work. I got out of the car wondering what the heck I was supposed to do and the Constable was cuffing the driver like on Cops. I figured something else was up now and so I’m like, “What do you want me to do?” It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question for a brain dead process server but it just set him off and I got an earful in front of the driver, the five other passengers from the vehicle, and all the people walking down the freaking sidewalk wo had all stopped to gawk at us. He was colorfully screaming things like, “Do I have to do everything” and “Can’t you do anything without being told” and my all time favorite and I quote exactly, “Why don’t you put on a pair big boys, and help me out here!” Really!

As it turned out, I found out shortly thereafter, the car this fellow was driving happened to be a car he had been trying to repossess for months and could never find it and the driver was a frequent customer and had multiple warrants out on him. Further, it turns out, the Constable did have the power to pull over and detain in this situation (which doesn’t absolve him from some of the other things I observed.) Nevertheless, did I really have to stand there and hear about what a waste of space I was, and in front of all these people who were now standing around major gawking, while we waiting for the real cops to show up? Freaking really!

What would you have done or said? Instinctually when you get caught in these situations you want to either sneak out a back entrance and hide under a really big rock, or kick the person upside the head. I liked the kick upside the head one. But what should you do? (Did I tell you he also had a gun?)

My instincts told me to yell back at him, tell him what I thought of him, tell him I thought he was a big fat wannabe cop, tell him I had no respect for him and his game of pulling people over for their poor driving, and then get a few more shots in – maybe do a good one in relation to his “big boys” comment and make it about Depends or something age related. Something about Barney Fife would be good but the guy was way to fat. I didn’t though because I did have some respect for him, even though he had his moments, and like I said, he scared me. Plus, and I didn’t find out until later but it makes the point, he was in the right here (in the pull over) even though I had no clue what he was doing, he didn’t communicate it well, and probably went about it in a reckless manner. Also, I got half the booty and on a car repo’ and an arrest warrant, I’d make the Fall Quarter tuition and we’d eat.

Dignity. I love that word.

The biggest worry of a parent - after all the cuteness of their youth and the love you have for them that has no bounds which goes without saying - as a child leaves home is that they will behave appropriately in public. Of course you want them to be safe but you want them to also be responsible. You want them to not tarnish the family name; more, you want them to bring it honor. So what is it kids are always told. Walk away from bad things. Don’t ever do anything wrong. Know who you are and what you represent.

We all represent something and others and should only do things that bring honor to them. Never disgrace others by your actions. It’s just not cool. I like the motto of the Goodyear Corporation: “Protect Our Good Name.” Too bad Firestone didn’t have the same motto when they put out substandard tires a few years ago that killed people. Too bad Constables don’t know that. My boss embarrassed himself by the way he treated me. Everyone there and the Cops who came later while he was still ranting saw him as a pretty petty person (love that alliteration.)

I came away with my dignity because I didn’t sink to his level. I represented the County just like him and sinking to his level at that time could only harm the organization and bring tarnish to my family who raised me different. One of the cops later told me I did the right thing to ignore him; “He blows off steam but he means well.” It’s true. I think he lost his head and appreciated I didn’t. It taught me a lot that I would use later in dealing with elected officials and others who get full of themselves from time to time. I always walk away. My smart mouth instincts are on high alert but my compass tells me to walk on by. At least until I get to the car and roll up the windows.

Key to the whole point – as I see it:

Raising the bar means we walk away from confrontations. Always remember what your goal is and what the task is you are trying to accomplish. Fighting with Neanderthals who have no manners and who bring dishonor on themselves is not the right thing to do – probably ever. They will never get it and the heat of battle isn’t a learning moment. Stay dignified and others will see who the big person is and you will come away winning every time. You will also get the respect of others who will know who the buttheads are and who they aren’t.