Enduring Together

This is my latest retired High Council talk. The assignment was to remind the Wards of the October 2007 General Conference talk of Bishop Richard G. Edgely.

Talk:

This is the 5th time I’ve been able to travel around the Stake on speaking assignments and it’s been very enjoyable to be in the different Wards and partake of the Spirit with each of you. Being assigned to coordinate with your Ward gives me additional opportunities to meet with you and I’m even getting to memorize your seating assignments where you all sit each week.

Your Ward Family has its own unique feel and flavor to it as each Ward and each family does.

It makes me reflect on all of the Ward Families I have belonged to and what they have meant to me.

Riverton 4th Ward Family
Twice in the last two months I’ve read the obituaries of men from the Ward Family I grew up in. Last month the obituary was of a man who was my Scoutmaster as I grew up. I knew him and his family well. He’d wait for us scouts at the bus stop when we got home from school and take us by the scruff of our collars and go work on a merit badge we needed. He was faithful and dedicated to us kids and we loved him. And we knew he loved us. I will miss him and mourn with his family.

The other man I knew made life decisions that were very destructive and messed up his life and that of his family. I knew his children well and it was a sad situation. But I learned that over the past 5 years he had straightened his life out and developed a very strong testimony. The way it was told to me: he got up in every Fast & Testimony Meeting and bore his testimony. This made my heart rejoice because when I think of my first Ward Family I always have tender feelings for so many who were leaders, teachers, and friends and were instrumental in my developing and nurturing a testimony of the gospel. During the mission field, while I was away, this was still my Ward Family and they were a constant support and strength while I was serving the Lord full time and far away.

Eldridge Ward Family
After marriage, my wife and I had another Ward Family for only a year until our first child was born and we needed more space. I can still recall many of our wonderful Ward Family Members and though we didn’t live there long enough for callings, I do recall the families I home taught and the strength I gained from class members when I substituted a few times in Sunday School.

Sandy 29th Ward Family
After my wife and I had our first child we moved to what we affectionately call “the Ghetto”. Wet had an amazing Ward Family and loved them all as we got immediately and heavily involved for the five years we lived there.

We had our first trials and testing in this Ward and experienced loving Ward Family Members who mourned for us and comforted us. Conversely we had the experience of doing the same for many of them. It was a great time for loving and learning in the gospel and we still keep in touch with and follow the lives of several from this Ward Family. We’ve learned that many times our Ward Families become eternal families to us in the spirit of friendship and the fellowship of Christ’s true Church.

Kearns 38th Ward Family
After our second child was born, we bought a house and became part of another Ward Family. Our new Ward Family was amazing: a whole bunch of young parents with young children all in their first homes and at a similar point in life’s experience. Our High Priest’s Quorum consisted of the Bishopric and one Elder called and ordained a High Priest to be the Group Leader since no others existed.

There were so many opportunities to serve and love our fellow Ward Members. The energy was contagious in this Ward. At a Stake Conference, Elder Russell M. Nelson informed us that he looked at the Church records and we had the largest Primary in the Church; some 2.000 children in 5 Wards.

We had many, many opportunities to comfort and mourn that shaped our lives in a very formidable way. I will never forget the Saturday morning when the quiet was broken by the screams of a distraught neighbor. As my wife and I instinctively made our way quickly to this house along with many other neighbors, we found a sister in our Ward Family distraught over finding her newborn child, blue, and unable to arouse from a nap. We called it crib death back them but now know it as SIDS. Some of us worked on the child while awaiting medical help and others comforted and mourned the mother, the father being away at work.

And even though it has been over 25 years since we lived in this Ward Family, we still have tender feelings for them and keep in contact with many of them and continue to share in their triumphs and their trials. This was the Ward Family where the last two of our children were born. My wife became inflicted with Multiple Sclerosis after the birth of the last and our Ward Family truly surrounded us with love and comfort – and many still do so.

Countryside Ward Family
Next, we built the house we were going to retire in, and thus became part of another Ward Family. It seemed in this Ward there were many families that were struggling to stay intact and many that didn’t make it. These were times where we could support families to assist them in staying intact and when that didn’t work out, we mourned with them and comforted them as they adapted and tried to make sense out of the trials and testing of broken family life.

Little Cottonwood 16th Ward Family
One day, literally, after five years in this Ward Family, after we had settled into the last Ward Family we would ever have, the Spirit was brooding within my wife and me, and to the amazement and utter disgust of our 4 children, we pulled up roots and moved into our current Ward Family; the Little Cottonwood 16th Ward. In one days time we found and bought a house and the next day sold ours and over the weekend we moved. It was one week before our oldest daughter was to start High School and our son was to begin Junior High. Our two youngest would be in 5th and 3rd grades. They were hating us for doing this at this time in their lives and were shocked because usually our spontaneity was well planned out. It was the biggest, most seemingly random, maybe financially stupid thing we had ever done. But in hindsight, maybe the most correct thing we ever did.

We love our 16th Ward Family. We know the Spirit guided us to this Ward Family because they have provided so much love and support to us and our family and we in turn have had the opportunity to mourn for them and provide comfort to many of them as life moves forward. A Week ago we were all shocked to attend the funeral of Otto Bernt; who’d just recently found out he had an advanced brain cancer. We mourn for and comfort his dear wife and do all we can to support her in her time of trial and need.

Ward Families
I take you all down my personal journey because I’m sure you all can relate and have similar experiences in your own lives and in your Ward Family. I hope this causes you to reflect on your current and past Ward Families.

There is a reason for these feelings. Bishop Richard G. Edgely said something about it in the October general conference:

The ward is organized to minister to the needs of those who face even the most difficult and heartbreaking trials. The bishop, often considered the “father” of the ward, is there to provide counsel and resources. But also close at hand are Melchizedek and Aaronic Priesthood leaders, the Relief Society presidency, home teachers, visiting teachers, and the ward members—always the ward members. All are there to administer comfort and show compassion in times of need.

I especially was impressed when he said, “the ward members – always the ward members” because it made me realize that under the inspiration of a Ward Family, I am called, in essence, to be a Ward Member and to bear their burdens and comfort them when they are in need of comfort. These geographic boundaries come by inspiration and leaders are called who hold keys that only operate within those boundaries. So being a member of a particular Ward Family seems like a calling to me.

As Bishop Edgley proceeded to give his talk he recounted 5 deaths of young people in his immediate neighborhood over a few years time; 4 of which were by traffic accident. As I heard this I was shocked but then as I pondered it and read the words again later I recall similar tragedies in my own Ward families as I’ve alluded to.

We thank our Heavenly Father and the Savior of this world for a Ward Family that comes together and makes these tragedies bearable. Can you even imagine not having this association? That would be a lonely and sad state of affairs to be in.

This is what the gospel is all about as taught by Alma when he tells us when us person is prepared for baptism:

Mosiah 18:8-9
8 … As ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort,”

That’s why we are ready for baptism when we are willing to do those things. Everything else in our Ward Family seems to be just practice for these moments when we do reach out and bear burdens and comfort those in need.

Listen to this apostolic description of a Ward Family:

The ward population is comparable to a large family, a patriarchal family, all members of which are acquainted, and are interested in a common cause. Within this ward family all members are on an equal plane. The poor and the rich, the learned and the unlearned, meet and mingle together as brethren and sisters, each giving help and love to the others. The Bishopric should be as fathers to the ward, knowing every family personally, sharing in the joys and sorrows of the people, and giving needed comfort and assistance to the sick and needy and to the well and prosperous. Since the ward is the ultimate unit of the Church, it becomes of great importance in the organization of the Church. It is in the ward that the activities of the Church find direct and real expression. All activities of the Church are organized on a ward basis-whether Priesthood or auxiliary. As the wards of the Church are, so is the Church.
(John A. Widtsoe, Program of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, p.85)

5 Things We Learn in Ward Families
In this conference talk, Elder Edgely, summarizes the 5 things that we learn as Ward Families as we bear one another’s burdens and comfort those in need of comfort.

According to Bishop Edgley, the first thing we learn as a Ward Family from bearing one another’s burden and comforting those in need of comfort is:

1. The Lord’s organization is fully adequate to know and care for those with even the most dire emotional and spiritual needs.

The Lord’s organization is perfect though the members are not. If we follow the program outlined in the scriptures and taught by church leaders and spelled out in the great handbooks available to us, we can know everything we need to know and will be guided as to how to care for all within our boundaries. And this pertains to our physical, spiritual, financial, and emotional needs.

Let me repeat that: The Lord’s organization is perfect. We need but follow it. The Church is not the government. It is the kingdom of God on earth. And there are no outcomes like Katrina in the Lord’s plan.

The second thing we learn as a Ward Family from bearing one another’s burden and comforting those in need of comfort is that:

2. Adversity can bring us closer to God, with a renewed and enlightened appreciation for prayer and the Atonement, which covers pain and suffering in all their manifestations.

Sometimes we shy away from adversity but I testify to you that it is true. It has purpose and we should never live or strive to try and take away the adversity that comes upon ourselves or others as an inspired part of our journey through life.

Removing adversity from this life is not the Lord’s plan. We do all we can to not bring upon us or others any unavoidable trial or tribulation but once they come, either as a result of one’s actions or simply as a member of earth, we don’t remove it or take it away. Only the Lord can do that.

Too much stress and unhappiness comes to us as we vainly attempt to take away the adversity of others that can make them grow and learn and become more reliant on Heavenly Father. Instead of attempting to remove adversity from others, we are expected to bear it with them and comfort them as they are challenged. By doing so, if we had the power, maybe we are depriving them – and us – of a lesson and the ability to develop a celestial characteristic that we cannot learn or develop any other way. Remember those powerful words of
President Spencer W. Kimball:

I'm grateful that my priesthood power is limited and used as the Lord sees fit to use it. I don't want to heal all the sick - for sickness sometimes is a great blessing. People become angels through sickness.
Have you ever seen someone who has been helpless for so long that he has divested himself of every envy and jealousy and ugliness in his whole life, and who has perfected his life? I have. Have you seen mothers who have struggled with, perhaps, unfortunate children for years and years, and have become saints through it? …

Being human, we would expel from our lives, sorrow, distress, physical pain, and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort. But if we closed the doors upon such, we might be evicting our greatest friends and benefactors. Suffering can make saints of people as they learn patience, long-suffering, and self-mastery. The sufferings of our Savior were part of his education. (55-15)
(Spencer W. Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, edited by Edward L. Kimball, p.167)

Maybe that is one reason we have been dubbed the most unhappy people in the country here in Utah – maybe we spend far too much energy naively and sincerely attempting to do what only the Lord can do - trying to take away the burdens and trials of our children, neighbors, and community rather than just bearing it with them and providing needed comfort.

The third thing we learn as a Ward Family from bearing one another’s burden and comforting those in need of comfort is that:

3. Members who suffer tragedy firsthand often experience an increased capacity for love, compassion, and understanding. They become the first, last, and often the most effective responders in giving comfort and showing compassion to others.

This provides a good test for us if we are passing our tests of mortal probation. If you are the first, last and most effective person to show compassion to others, you are becoming more Christlike and have learned the lessons that were intended for you by the trials that you have had. This is why we are here on earth, to learn this very principle. This is why bad things happen to good people and why it rains on the good and the bad together.

The fourth & fifth things we learn as a Ward Family from bearing one another’s burden and comforting those in need of comfort are:

4. A ward, as well as a family, draws closer together as it endures together—what happens to one happens to all.

5. And perhaps most important, we can each be more compassionate and caring because we have each had our own personal trials and experiences to draw from. We can endure together.

Bishop Edgely said:

I rejoice in belonging to such a loving and caring organization. No one knows better how to bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. I choose to call it “enduring together.” What happens to one happens to all. We endure together.


We are all familiar with the concept or the admonition of “enduring to the end.” We think about it and learn about it and are encouraged to do it regularly. In the scriptures we find many references to it. My favorite is:
2 Nephi 31:20

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

Bishop Edgley introduced me to a new term in relation to this when he admonished us to “endure together.” When I read this scripture I like to think that it could be worded: “If ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure together, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.”

A Final Testimony of Satan's Reality
To me one of the greatest examples of this feeling of enduring together as a Ward Family comes from an experience of President Harold B. Lee. It demonstrates that even though he was the Prophet and Leader of the entire Church, he still had a Ward Family and thought of them with great love and often, even as his life and mission were coming to an end. From his biography:

On the first Sunday of November 1973, President Lee spent the early morning hours, as was his practice, at the Salt Lake Temple considering problems on which he alone, as President of the Church, could decide. With these matters weighing heavily on his mind, along with a personal problem on which he had consulted with one of his family members, he came to rejoin Sister Lee at their Federal Heights Ward fast and testimony meeting. He arrived late, quietly sat down, and received the sacrament. Just prior to the close of the meeting, President Lee's familiar voice came from the back of the chapel, asking permission of bishopric counselor E. Douglas Sorensen to delay closing the meeting, for he "thought the Lord had been so mindful of me in a special way, a few days before, that he would think me an ingrate if I failed to express myself." According to ward member, Sister Elaine A. Cannon, who recorded his statements in her journal, he spoke these unforgettable words as he remained standing at the rear of the chapel:

Brothers and Sisters, beloved friends and neighbors, members of my ward family, and those in my own little flock over whom I have stewardship: I'm sorry to disturb you, but I know that it would be disturbing to my Father in Heaven if I don't say something to you at this time.

By way of testimony I want you to know that I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ and our Redeemer, and he is at the head of this Church; I am not. I know that he operates in all the affairs of this church and I say this by way of testimony that you may know that I know he lives.

And then, after a long pause, he uttered these remarkable words:
I say this to you by way of a serious warning, that I also know that the adversary lives and operates in the affairs of man. And he is determined to cause a downfall of men. If he can't get to us, he will try to get to those closest to us, for he is in a mighty battle with the work of the Savior. And I must tell you these words of warning. So keep close to the Lord. Don't be discouraged. The Lord will take care of his own. If you are prepared, you need not fear, if you are on the Lord's side."

This was a powerful, most unusual testimony, not alone because it came from the prophet of God to his own neighbors, friends, and relatives who had often heard him bear witness to the reality of the Savior Jesus Christ, but also because he had never before borne such a fervent witness to the reality of Satan. It was his last message to the members of his ward, for seven weeks later he was taken in death.
L. Brent Goates, Harold B. Lee: Prophet and Seer , p.564

May we all “endure together” as a Ward Family and work together to fight this mighty battle with the Adversary as he attempts to discourage us and cause our downfall. May we all realize we are “called” to live in this geographically-based organization to bear each other burdens and comfort those in need of comfort as brothers and sisters, both figuratively and literally. May we all draw upon our own trials and challenges to be the first, the last, and most effective to provide needed service and compassion.

The Savior lives. This is His Church. He has organized it and us in such a way that all challenges that come our way can be met and that all will come together to build His Kingdom and prepare for His return. This is my testimony and prayer in the name …